Beyond Notice
by RMNicki
Summary: After the Cullens leave, Charlie attempts to send Bella back to Phoenix. But, something goes horribly wrong, and she runs at the airport and escapes to Seattle. Once there she meets a man named Michael whom introduces her to his prostitution and drug trafficking ring...her self value drops to nearly nothing. The Cullens later find Bella, but she's no longer...the Bella they knew.
1. Tour Duty

_We're leaving Bella. _

_ I don't want you to come with me. _

The words ran through my head constantly, and with each word came the sharp throbbing pains.

Charlie had attempted to send me back to Phoenix…during my catatonic phase. I hadn't fought him, but I knew I wouldn't be going. He took me to the airport and dropped me off…but

I knew, hours later, he got the call from Renee, that I hadn't gotten off of the plane.

I was in Seattle now. I was careful though, I had changed my physical appearance,

My clothing was more risky, I wore blue colored contacts and dyed my hair darker.

I was in the missing persons' files. But, I lived in a more seedy part of town, and my change in character kept wandering eyes from noticing me.

When I'd moved here, I'd been homeless, I'd tried everything, from begging to scamming, to conning. None of it sufficed. Then…I found something.

Then my life took a turn…for the worst.

I was raped. A man in an alley took everything from me. Everything I could never get back. I fell into a deep depression after that. Living homeless was fine with me, I wanted to waste away. That was when Michael found me.

I had been walking down a street, when a car pulled up beside me, I took a step back, terrified for a moment.

"Sweetheart, you're too beautiful for me to hurt you." He said softly. "But, I do have a proposition for you. And you seem like you need it."

I didn't say a word, and he smiled, knowing he'd gotten my attention.

"What do you say, you come work for me with my girls. It offers a warm bed, and food, and a percentage of the money you make for me."

"What's your name?" I whispered.

"Michael." He smiled.

I knew then who this was. Michael was the ring leader of a prostitution ring. I was revolted at first, and said absolutely not. He'd given me his number, and I couldn't find the will to throw it away. Then, when I became desperate enough a week later, I did call him.

He welcomed me with open arms, and I became a pawn in his game.

I hated myself. I wouldn't admit it, but I was disgusted by myself. But, I kept myself reassured by looking in the mirror at my thin body, and the lacy outfits I wore. And thought about the guys who paid…well, a lot of money to get with me.

I was with Michael for 6 months, and I was slowly moving up in the ranks, and became an 'older girl' in the house. And soon enough, I was giving tours to the men that wanted to 'shop'.

My name here was Izzy-B. It hid my identity, and most of the girls had their specialized names. For their privacy and their safety.

I sat in my room with the three other girls I shared it with. And dressed for the day, I felt nauseous to my stomach as I thought of last night.

"Soo…" One of the girls across from me said, as I pulled on the mini skirt. I looked up at her, momentarily confused,

"So?"

"How was it?" She squeaked, her name suited her. Squeaky. "Being with the mayor's son?"

I sighed, "He had some sick fetishes."

Squeaky's eyes widened, "Like what?" She asked.

I smiled slightly, "Well, he licked me multiple times, and I swear I have hickies everywhere." I picked up my foot and showed her my heel, where I had a dark purple one…she grimaced…

"That's just…weird." She said.

I laughed,

"Yeah, well…he paid nicely." I said.

My cell phone rang, and Squeaky sighed,

"I can't wait to get a cell phone." She said,

"When you get old enough, you'll have one." I promised, I answered,

"Hello?"

"Iz. You're needed up front, you have some…tourists." I laughed at Daniel's fake mystified voice, and hung up.

"I've got tour duty, I'll see you guys later." I said,


	2. Carlisle Cullen

_**~~~  
Review:  
My cell phone rang, and Squeaky sighed, **_

"_**I can't wait to get a cell phone." She said, **_

"_**When you get old enough, you'll have one." I promised, I answered, **_

"_**Hello?" **_

"_**Izz. You're needed up front, you have some…tourists." I laughed at Daniel's fake mystified voice, and hung up. **_

"_**I've got tour duty, I'll see you guys later." I said,  
~~~**_

"Have fun!" Tiny yelled as I walked out the door, and headed towards the front desk…

I wondered who I'd be leading around today and if they'd choose me. I was making good money lately, and Michael was pretty happy with me. I tried to ignore everything I thought about myself and I threw all my guilt, hurt and anger into my new life.

I ran into Michael in the hall way.

"Hey baby." He whispered, wrapping his arms around my waist, and pressing his lips to mine. It was a little game we had, and I kissed him back tracing his lip with my tongue the way he liked, but as soon as he granted me entrance I pulled away, winked at him and walked around him.

He grabbed me around the waist and I laughed, "We'll finished this later he growled hungrily in my ear, then let me go, swatting me as I walked away.

I stifled my laughing and faced the customers at the desk.

My new world crumbled at the sight of their pale faces and golden eyes. Especially the ones the studied me closely…he seemed broken hearted by the sight in front of him…what he just saw probably didn't help. Those same eyes that had stared me down when he broke my heart, I thought solemnly. I avoided those eyes especially.

As I had practiced and learned many times before, I swiped away all of my emotions, and approached them, I knew they'd caught my hesitancy. But, I didn't care.

I walked forward and reached out my hand to Emmett, he reached forward slowly and I shook his hand, then stepped back, ignoring the coolness of his skin.

Their eyes were filled with a certain guilt and sadness, and I ignored it, reminding myself that this was the family that had broken me and shattered my world.

I took a deep breath, and plastered on a smile…knowing that they weren't here to 'shop.'

"Hello, my name is Izzy-B, and I'll be your server today." I said sexily as I had learned from Mini, a girl that had been here about 7 months longer than me,

"We have young ladies ranging from 15-25, we have girls with muscle." I said, flexing my biceps sexily,

"Then we have model beauty girls," A little spin, "and everything in between. So, How can I help you?" I asked, plastering on a fake smile.

"Bella…" Esme choked, her face hurt the most,

"I apologize miss, but that isn't my name anymore."

"We need to talk-" Edward began, but he was cut off as I heard Michael come up behind me,

"Izz." He said, I turned and faced him, "You have an appointment."

I was confused at first, "Who with?"

His eyes burned, "Kyle and I." He said smiling at me.

I smiled back, "What about shift?" I asked,

"Tiny'll take over." He replied, nodding to Tiny, she gave me a small smile, and Michael took my wrist and lead me back down the hall,

"Bella!" I heard Carlisle yell,

"Not my name!" I yelled back, and giggled, as Michael wrapped his arm around my waist, and pressed his lips to my cheek.

Later that night, I sat in Tiny, Squeaky, and I's room. They were out working the streets, and my session with Michael and Kyle had just ended. I was sore to say the least of it. I'd known I would be though. It was always that way with Michael. Sleeping with him was always painful…he was rough…I sometimes even thought he liked my pain.

I jumped as he walked into the room, I hoped he didn't want more of me. Instead, he had a small black package in his hand.

"This'll take away some of the pain." He said, kneeling in front of me.

I smiled, "It's been a while." I breathed.

"I know, I'm sorry. I know how much you like it."

I smiled gently, as he tied the rubber strap above the crease in my elbow, before filling the needle and inserting in my arm professionally. I flinched, I still didn't have a liking for needles, but I could handle them now. I mean…Smoking the stuff didn't help as much as injecting it did.

"Smoke this." He said, handing me a lit cigarette. I looked up at him, confused for a moment,

"What is it?"

"Just do it." He said, I sighed and nodded,

"Okay."

He left the room soon afterwards,

"Enjoy." He said smiling as he walked out the door.

I sat there in a oversized hoodie and sophie shorts dragging on the cigarette, the high was beginning to hit me now, and I felt myself relax, when I heard the door open again.

I figured it was Tiny or Squeaky so I didn't turn. But, when the footsteps approached me, I turned and looked up, and there stood none other than…

Carlisle Cullen.

"What're you doing Bella?" He asked, quietly, kneeling in front of me.

I looked away from him, "Getting high."

I could practically feel his disapproval at my short answer.

"That's not what I meant." He said, he plucked the cigarette out of my fingers, and snuffed it out before I could stop him, before throwing it out the window, I'd been smoking out of.

"That's just cruel." I replied, meeting his eyes for the first time.

"No." He said, "Cruel is what you're doing to your body and putting yourself through."

"I'm not putting myself through anything. I like it here. I'm happy. I have a family."

My last words caused him to flinch, and he sighed,

"You're not happy Bella, if you were, you wouldn't be injecting heroine, and smoking meth."

"Oh…that's what I'm smoking…?" I said nonchalantly, keeping my eyes out the window.

"You wouldn't be sleeping with guys you didn't care about or hiding from Charlie and Renee." He continued, I swallowed, that was a chink in my armor…what this was doing to Charlie and Renee.

"You didn't seem to care before." I said quietly, he grabbed my chin.

"Caring had nothing to do with it-" He began .

"Exactly." I cut him off, meeting his eyes again, I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, laying my head down, and turning my face away, I let the tears fall.

"You should leave." I whispered.

"Bella…"

Why was I letting this affect me so much?

I jumped when my phone rang, and jumped at a chance to distract away from my current predicament. I stood and walked over to my desk.

Michael's name lit the screen, and I sighed,

"Hey." I whispered.

"Hey baby…what's wrong."

"N-nothing Mikey, I-I just…" My breathing hitched.

"Izzy, baby, I'm on my way. Do you want me to set you one up?"

I turned and looked, half hoping Carlisle was gone, but he was standing a few feet from me now, watching me.

I swallowed, "Yeah, yeah. Do you have any more?"

"Yeah. What will you do to get it?"

I sighed, I was desperate, "You'd be surprised."

"On my way." He said. "Get dressed. I think I have someone for you."

"On it." I replied.

"Hey Izz. You've got Club Neon tonight, you've got a shift. There's a good chance one of them will be taking you with them…Be careful. You'll have Simon with you…where something sexy, you know how this goes, pack for a couple nights."

"Understood." I breathed.


	3. This isn't over, Or is it?

~*~*~  
Author's Apology:  
I am a horrible person…Well, not really, but I am _so_ sorry that I forgot about this story! And, I probably wouldn't have remembered if I hadn't gotten the alert on my phone for a review. Anyways, here you go, hope you enjoy!

Review of last chapter:  
"On my way." He said. "Get dressed. I think I have someone for you."

"On it." I replied.

"Hey Izz. You've got Club Neon tonight, you've got a shift. There's a good chance one of them will be taking you with them…Be careful. You'll have Simon with you…where something sexy, you know how this goes, pack for a couple nights."

"Understood." I breathed.

I turned after hanging up my phone, and gasped when I found that Carlisle was only about a foot away from me. He took my chin in his fingers once more.  
"This is _not _over." He said, never leaving my eyes. Then he was gone.  
I breathed out and tears streamed over, then Michael was there.  
"Whoa, baby…" He said, I swiped at the tears until they were gone.  
"I'm fine, I'm fine. Just let me get dressed." I said, stripping my jacket over my torso, leacing me in my bra and sophie shorts.  
"Wait, wait."  
"No, no. I can handle it." I said, nearly frantic.  
He swatted me harder than he had before and I gasped more in surprise than in pain. And, I knew that this one wasn't playful. It was punishment, or rather a warning... I swallowed and turned and faced him, rubbing at the now sore spot on my bottom.  
I knew that this was Michael's way of inducing submission. I'd gotten 'punished' once about a month after I had joined here. And, it had been at Michael's hand, and I knew how much it could hurt.  
"Ow." I whispered.  
"You don't disobey me." He said sternly, and I nodded.  
"Yes sir." I said weakly, I felt like I was about to go crazy, like I was going to be sick. Too much had happened recently, and I wanted to just curl up in bed and cry.  
"Here." He said gently, and held out his hand. There was a small baggy in it and I was pretty damn sure that it wasn't sugar inside.  
"I've never taken it before." I said, taking a step back, not so sure if I wanted to.  
"Isabella, you'll do as I say." He said, and I caught the double edge to his words. I stepped forward once more, not wanting to get my ass blistered, and nodded. He took my wrist and pulled me over to my nightstand. He pulled it away from the wall, opened the baggie and poured some of it out onto the wooden surface. He lined it, before leaning down and snorting it.  
He set up another hit,  
"Your turn." He said, and I took a shallow, shaky breath before leaning forward and doing as I was instructed.  
I kneeled there for a few moments and I felt a foreign but…good feeling spread throughout my body and I smiled.  
"It's good isn't it?" He said, and I nodded, before standing, he smirked and tipped my chin up before wiping away some stray white powder from my nose.  
"That'll get you in trouble baby girl." He said, then he sighed, "You know what? Forget shift tonight at Neon. We're gonna go party."  
I looked up at him shocked, and he nodded,  
"I like you Izzy, and you've brought in a lot for me, and I'm a tender-hearted man, so I'm taking you out and we're going to have some fun.  
I smiled, not arguing at all,  
"Get ready." He ordered and I nodded. He sat on my bed, and I smiled ignoring the feeling of self consciousness of having him watch me dress and instead willed it away by giving him a show…

I put on a mini black clubbing dress that had slits on the sides, and strappy black heels. I pulled my hair into a loose ponytail, allowing some of the strands to fall around my face. Michael smiled, and I could see lust in his eyes. He took my hand and pulled me towards my bed before pushing me down onto it and forcing me into a laying position before pushing my dress up and spreading my legs.  
"I didn't see you put panties on when you got dresses." He said, "We'll make this quick and then be on our way." He said unzipping his pants.  
I closed my eyes, at this point…I just wanted to die. Then I came up with an idea... I would just wait till I got the chance. Then…then, I could make all of this end, all of this pain. It would end it. For good.

~*~*~  
Sorry! I know it's short, but I _will_ update much sooner than I did this time. I swear it! Oh and by the way, I will post a link to my profile that will allow you to look at what Bella's outfit looked like, if you wanna see it! ;) Love it, Like it, Rate it, Review it!  
-RMNicki  
~*~*~


	4. Betrayal

**~*~*~  
So sorry that took so long! Here you go, it's a longer chapter than usual to make up for my negligence!**_**Review of Last Chapter:**__  
Michael smiled, and I could see lust in his eyes. He took my hand and pulled me towards my bed before pushing me down onto it and forcing me into a laying position before pushing my dress up and spreading my legs. "I didn't see you put panties on when you got dresses." He said, "We'll make this quick and then be on our way." He said unzipping his pants. I closed my eyes, at this point…I just wanted to die. Then I came up with an idea... I would just wait till I got the chance. Then…then, I could make all of this end, all of this pain. It would end it. For good.  
~*~*~_  
(_**This is where it gets Rated M. You've been warned.)**_

Beginning:

I lay with my back on the bed, feeling like a whore. He pushed in and out of me quickly, then reached forward and pinched my nipples through my dress and I gasped. I hated myself for it, but I was aroused. Who wouldn't be?  
He reached into a bag I hadn't seen him bring in, and pulled out of me and walked around the bed.  
"W-what are you doing?" I whispered.  
"Close your eyes." He ordered.  
I did as he said obediently, and gasped as I felt a blindfold being pressed over my head before he repositioned me, and cuffed my wrists to the headboard.  
"Michael…" I protested.  
"Hush, before I gag you." He said, sternly.  
I pursed my lips.  
I felt a foreign object that I had mistaken for his dick cross my stomach, after he pushed up my dress to just below my breasts.  
"I'm going to put this inside of you." He said, spreading my legs.  
"W-what?" I whispered, then gasped as he pressed whatever it was in quickly.  
"Take a deep breath, baby." He said.  
I nodded, and heard a clicking noise and let out a small scream as the thing inside me began to vibrate.  
_A vibrator._ I should have known.  
My breath came quicker, he tweaked my nipples, then teased my clit. I screamed again as sexual tension built inside me. My orgasm was coming, and it was coming _strong._  
"Just let it come, baby. Don't fight it. It's going to feel good."  
"Oh-Oh my God!"  
He increased the pressure on my clit.  
"Aah!" I screamed as my body convulsed, I could practically feel his eyes burning into me as I reached my orgasm.  
He pulled the vibrator out of me a few seconds later as I came down from the high.  
I felt him cum over my stomach, and I just barely held back throwing up. It wasn't necessarily what he did, but rather the fact that I was _letting _him. What had happened to me?

"Get ready." He said, smacking my thigh, and unbinding me.  
"You might need a few touch ups." He smiled and walked out.  
I slipped to my knees and began to cry. A first, since I had been here. I stayed that way for about 5 minutes.  
_Get it together. _I berated myself. Then, something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye.  
Michael had left the coke.  
I looked at the door, before setting up another hit, and snorting it.  
The emotional pain ceased, and I stood and fixed my attire after cleaning myself up.  
I walked out of the room, and met him in the hallway, moments later.  
_Just make it through tonight._  
~*~*~

I had a bad feeling in my gut as we approached the house that the party was being held at. Michael had an excited look in his eye that made me nervous, but I could hardly focus.  
I was higher than a kite. Actually, it was making me feel sick. I ignored it. I would take the nausea over the emotional pain any day.  
"Come on sweetheart." He said, taking my wrist and pulling me into the party.  
"I have some people I want you to meet, first." He said, pulling me up the stairs.  
I stumbled and nearly fell. He helped me up, a smirk on his face.  
"Wh-who?" I rasped.  
"Just some people." He said, leading me down a hallway and into a room, it sobered me quickly seeing the four men standing in the middle of the room, next to a bed.  
I froze.  
I had a pretty good idea of what I had just walked into.

Not to mention the room was covered in 'toys.' Including suspenders, whips, floggers and ropes.  
"Michael you said after what happened last time-" I began, referring to the last time he had set me up in a situation like this. I had been abused. Hurt and had been in the infirmary for a week.  
"I know baby." He interrupted, "But they pay well."  
I began to turn, but felt a cloth forced over my face. I screamed and clawed at Michael's hand. But slowly things became blurry, then I was unable to fight him at all.  
"Ssshhh baby, it's for your own good," then, "she's all yours, boys, I want her back to hours from now.1500, right?"  
"You got it." I heard a grizzly voice say then a rough grip on my arm as he yanked me forward.  
"No, no, please!" I begged, stumbling, weakly.

…...

For the next two hours, I was ravaged, suspended, paddled and hit with a whip randomly across my body.  
One struck me with his fist and I knew I would have a wicked bruise across my cheek in the morning, bruises appeared already on my arms where they had grabbed me. I had bruises on my legs, and 'down there' would be more than sore for a…long time. I wanted to die. I would take that over this.

What they did to me…Rough wouldn't be the right word for it. They were savages. And every piece of me hurt when they finally took a break.

"Get yourself back together, we're gonna go get some drinks. We'll be back in ten." One of them ordered.  
They left then, and I forced myself into a standing position. Tears rolled down my cheeks and a sob ripped it's way through my body.  
_Not now._ I whispered, I dug through the drawers and found a man's T-shirt. I pulled it on. It covered me to my mid thigh. This would work for now. I pulled my hair into a messy bun, knowing I _had_ to get out of here. I cleaned myself between my legs…I was bleeding.  
I walked as quick as I could across the room and opened a window. I was on the second floor and I knew it wouldn't kill me, but I would take falling to the ground over going through another round of _that_ again.  
I straddled the frame, and before thinking about it, forced myself out on the roof. I slipped and felt something dig into the side of my leg. I let out a small cry as it cut deep into the outside of my thigh.  
_I can't stop now. I can't stop now. Almost there._  
I sat on the side of the roof, and closed my eyes,  
_1, 2, 3._  
Then, I jumped.  
I held in my scream as I fell and hit the ground. Fire lit through my body and I threw up as pain coursed through me, as tears rolled down my cheeks.  
I knew I had broken my ankle, or badly sprained it. But, that wasn't the worst that could have happened.  
I crawled up into a standing position again, and stumbled into the coverage of the woods.  
_This feels familiar._ I thought, thinking of when Edward had left me. I forced the thought out of my mind and forced myself to move onwards through the woods. My ankle protested furiously and I tried to catch my breath.  
I made it at least half a mile, then collapsed, unable to handle the pain anymore.  
I curled into a ball and began to sob.  
I don't know how long I lay there, but what felt like seconds later I felt arms wrap around me. I screamed, and fought the best I could in my condition…which was pretty much… not at all.  
"Stop, Bella _stop._ It's me, _Emmett._ You're going to hurt yourself worse."  
I paused, and slowly took in the familiar, unique scent, and curled inwards, burying my face in his stone-hard chest and cried.  
I don't know why, but his presence offered more comfort than I had felt in a _long_ time.  
"I found her!" He said loudly and I flinched, and for some reason thought he was going to take me back.  
"No, no, please! Don't take me back!" I cried.  
"Shh, shh…" He said, "I'm not taking you back sweetheart, relax. I was talking to the family. We've been looking for you. God, what the hell happened to you?"  
I stayed silent, and he repositioned me gently so that I was more comfortable, then we were speeding through the woods,  
"They're going to meet us at the house." He said gently. I nodded silently.  
Minutes later, I felt light flood my vision. I flinched,  
"Turn off the lights." I heard Esme's pained voice. Then, the offending brightness was gone.  
"Bella…" Edward choked a few feet from in front of me.  
I couldn't fight it. I couldn't. I wanted to. I wanted to show him he didn't have any piece of me anymore. He'd hurt me, and I knew that. But he _did_ have a piece of me. And right now, I was in no shape to fight my inner demons.  
I knew I looked like I child. But right now, I didn't give a damn. A small sob broke through my body, and I reached my hands towards him. He caught me in his arms gently, and pressed his lips to my hair.  
"I'm going to kill them for what they did to you." I heard Jasper. I was slightly shocked to hear him, I guess I had expected him to flee the house after smelling my blood.  
I looked towards him, "I'm sorry." I whispered, his face was pained for a moment, and he stepped forward, and spoke quietly.  
"Don't say that Bella. None of this was your fault."  
I felt one pair of eyes in the room the hardest. I met her eyes.  
Rosalie.  
(_**Bella knows about what happened to Rosalie.)**_

"Let me see her." Carlisle said, and Edward handed me over to him, reluctantly.  
"I can walk…" I whispered.  
"Right…" Carlisle said, and began to carry me towards the stairs.  
"We have a trip to take." Edward said, and him, Jasper and Emmett headed towards the door.  
"Guys…" I heard Carlisle say, and I expected him to tell them no, but instead,  
"Hide them well. Make sure to get to the man that runs the ring."  
I sighed, in relief, and smiled slightly. Michael had become a 'friend,' but what he had walked me into tonight…I hoped he'd suffer.  
"Rose, Alice, Esme. I'll need your help throughout the night."

I heard quiet affirmations, then I was flying up the stairs in Carlisle's arms.  
Alice followed us into the room, "I'll be right back." She whispered.  
"I'm so sorry." I said quietly, again, to Carlisle.  
"Bella. Stop saying that, this is _not_ your fault,sweetheart."  
Then, Alice was back. She shut and locked the door, and walked over to us.  
"Let's get you out of that." She whispered, gesturing to my tattered T-shirt. I felt even more like a child, but again didn't care as I sat up –much to their displeasure- Carlisle helped me to ease out of my T-shirt. For the first time, since I had first become a call girl, I was self conscious as I sat naked in front of them.  
Alice helped me into a pair of matching panties and bra.  
Then, I managed to ease into a pair of blue sophie shorts and a white tank top.  
Carlisle took my arm, and I looked away as he inserted a needle, then I slowly relaxed as my pain eased slightly.  
"Better?" Carlisle asked.  
"Yeah." I whispered.  
"Alright. Let's see." Carlisle said after a few seconds.  
He rolled up the hem of the shorts and exposed the cut across the side of my thigh.  
I looked away and groaned lightly as he pulled out a needle and thread.  
Alice took my hands in hers, probably as precaution, and it was probably a good idea.  
I felt the sting of another needle then the familiar tug and pull of stitches for a few minutes. Afterwards, She and Carlisle helped me into a standing position, turning me around. Alice pulled up the back of my tank top so that Carlisle could treat the whip wounds across my back.  
He put a cream on them, that cooled them and I let out a small whimper of relief.  
"This is going to be a little uncomfortable." He warned, gently. I nodded, having a pretty good idea of where this was going.  
He stripped my shorts down,  
"Put your elbows on the bed." He said gently, and I did as he said, suddenly feeling exhausted.  
He treated my backside the same way he'd treated my back. The wounds were quite similar.  
After treating all the whip and paddle marks he had me lay down again.  
"Let me get a look at your ankle." He said, keeping me up with what he was doing.  
"Tell me what movements hurts." He said. My thoughts were slowly beginning to clear, I felt his hands on my foot,  
"Oh no…" I whispered.  
He did the motions slowly, and gently, and afterwards said,  
"It's just a bad sprain, you'll need a boot, but you won't need a cast. You'll be alright. I know you'll probably argue with me, but I'm going to set up an I.V so that we can get some fluids and morphine in you."  
I frowned, but nodded, not having the strength to fight him on it.  
He walked out of the room, and Alice spoke to me softly for a little bit and helped me into the bed, then did what she could to distract me while Carlisle inserted the I.V.  
"Get some sleep Bella, you'll need to sleep off the drugs in your system."  
I smiled sheepishly, and he ran his hand through my hair.  
"I'll need to check you over again tomorrow, especially your leg." I frowned slightly and he smiled,  
"Goodnight Bella."  
He gave Alice a meaningful look and she nodded as he walked out.  
"In the morning if you want to shower or anything, Rosalie, me or Esme will be perfectly fine with helping you." She said softly.  
I nodded and blushed slightly.  
"Good night Bella." She whispered,  
"Goodnight." I said through a pained throat. She smiled sympathetically, then walked out.  
I just wished I could get rid of the dread and regret…I didn't want to be here, I hated myself…and I didn't want to live in it anymore. I didn't belong here. I wasn't a part of their family. I wasn't going to burden them…

_**~*~*~  
So, what do you guys think?  
I have a pretty good idea of how the next chapter is going to play out, and I think it'll be a treat to some of you, so stay updated! (;  
~*~*~**_


	5. I'm So Sorry

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters, but this **_**is**_** my writing and should not be used without my permission. Thank you.**

Review of Last Chapter:  
In the morning if you want to shower or anything, Rosalie, me or Esme will be perfectly fine with helping you." She said softly. I nodded and blushed slightly. "Good night Bella." She whispered, "Goodnight." I said through a pained throat. She smiled sympathetically, then walked out. I just wished I could get rid of the dread and regret…I didn't want to be here, I hated myself…and I didn't want to live in it anymore. I didn't belong here. I wasn't a part of their family. I wasn't going to burden them…  
~*~*~

Bella P.O.V

It took a lot to try and keep my emotions hidden from the Cullens. I mean for Gods' sake, there was a freaking _empath _in the house. I dressed quickly in a pair of torn jeans and a black v-neck that Alice had given me. Honestly it was probably the most 'covering' pair of clothes I'd worn in a long time…and I loved it.

There was a tentative knock on my door, shaking me from my thoughts,  
"Come in." I whispered, knowing whoever it was would hear me.  
Edward walked in, closing the door with a quiet _click_ behind him.  
He walked towards me, a plate in his hand. I gave the sandwich a look, and my insides burned as he gave me that half smile that sent my heart racing.  
"You need to eat something." He murmured.  
I shook my head, "Why?"  
I jumped when I heard another voice and saw Carlisle walk in behind him.  
"Because you've lost weight. And, it's become worrisome."  
I looked at the sandwich again, and shook my head.

"I don't want it."  
Carlisle sighed, "Bella, will you come with me for a moment?"  
I paused, "Why…?"  
Carlisle sighed, and his face took on a stern look,  
"That wasn't a request, Isabella."  
I swallowed, considering I had been called Izzy-B for the last almost-year, hearing my full name in that tone of voice made me squirm in my spot. I swallowed and stood walking over to the door with him. He lead me out the door and to his office. He took me in and shut the door behind me.

I froze when he pulled the weight scale out from the closet.  
I looked up at him, and he gestured towards it.  
"Why…?" I asked for the second time in the last five minutes.  
"Because I said so, and I'm worried about your health."  
"You don't need to be. I don't need anyone to worry about me."  
"I don't see anyone else to take a parental role in your life Bella, and until we're able to reunite you with Charlie, I'll be happy to fill that role. As well as being your doctor. Now step on the scale, before I have to sedate you and weigh you while you're out of it."  
"You wouldn't."  
He gave me a look, "I would." He walked around his desk and pulled out a syringe, and began to fill it. I swallowed around the aching cravings that were rushing through my body at the sight of the needle. Then it became clear through my muddled mind that I was about to get another one of those dreaded shots that would render me unconscious.  
"Okay, okay!" I gasped, and took a tentative step towards him. He took my arm in his hand, and turned me around so that my back was facing the scale.  
"Carliiisle…" I whined.  
"You won't be seeing your weight, Isabella. Not any time soon at least."  
"Why not?"  
"Because you're showing signs of an eating disorder." He said bluntly, "Step up."  
_I do __**not**__ have an eating disorder….I don't think._  
I dismissed the thought and groaned but did as he said, and took a step back onto the cool metal of the scale.  
I waited about 10 seconds, and he finally let me down, I tried to turn, but his grip on my shoulder tightened in warning.  
I sighed, and waited until he'd let me go.  
"Alright, you're doing good." He said, gently, and I could tell he was watching all of my facial expressions.  
"Good." I smiled through my disappointment. _Doing good…meant I'd gained weight._ "Because, I don't have en eating disorder."  
_I was just so used to watching like a hawk anything that went into my body. Michael had liked us in our best condition. Which was skinny._

He nodded, "You're free to go." He said gently, I walked towards the door, "Bella." He said, I turned back to him, "Eat the sandwich."  
I sighed in exasperation and I saw a smile dancing at his lips,  
"Thank you." He said as I walked out,  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I replied, hearing him chuckle.  
~*~*~

Over the next couple weeks, I waited desperately for my opening. I could feel myself gaining weight, but I knew I was smaller compared to an average girl. I could constantly feel their eyes on my back. I sat on the couch now, my knees pulled to my chest, as I watched the football game that Emmett had turned on.  
"Am I allowed to go out and walk around?"  
"I don't think so little sis. You'll have to wait till Carlisle gets home and ask him."  
I groaned, "It's like being held captive."  
Jasper turned to me a small smile on his lips, "You could call it that." He said, "But I don't see you being able to run away, if I remember correctly, you didn't make it far last time."  
I felt my cheeks flush in embarrassment, "You could say that." I said, flashing back to the first time I had tried to make an escape.

2 weeks ago…

The Cullens had gone hunting and although it hurt me to break their trust… I couldn't stay here, not to mention _every_ part of me was _aching_ in demand for the drugs I couldn't get. I was becoming desperate, and it didn't help that I knew what a burden I was on the Cullens…and I just…._didn't_ want to be anymore. I clicked open the front door, and stepped out, before running into the forest. Something I knew well, because that had been how I'd escaped Charlie too, then Michael.

I made it about a mile, and jumped in shock when I nearly ran straight into Jasper.  
"J-Jasper." I rasped.  
"Bella." He said, I let out a startled cry as he grabbed me and tossed me over his shoulder,  
"No! Put me down!" I cried.  
"I don't think so." He replied thoughtfully, then we were speeding through the woods, "You know? Alice saw that you were going to fight us."  
"You can't keep me captive forever!" I whispered.  
Jasper set me on my feet suddenly, and I realized we were in front of the house, and there was Edward. Guilt suddenly swamped me. Edward reached forward and tipped my chin up so that I was looking him in the eyes,  
"No. We can't, not forever."

I frowned, he took my arm and lead me back into the house.

~*~*~  
And now, here I _still_ sat. It had been _two_ weeks.  
"I'm gonna go lay down for a little bit."  
Emmett nodded, skeptically, "I swear to God Bella, if you try anything…"  
I sighed, "I know."  
He nodded, and I walked back up the stairs to Edward's room. I suddenly wished he was back from hunting, so he could hold me like he usually did at night.

An idea flashed before my eyes suddenly, and it was so sudden that I knew Alice wouldn't see it…well not in time.  
_I can't. I can't. I can't…_I chanted to myself but it wouldn't work, no matter how hard I tried.  
Pain and sel-hatred suddenly swamped me, and I just barely held back a sob. I couldn't let them hear me. I didn't want to tip them off. I walked as quietly as I could into Edward's closet, and closed my eyes for a moment, as I picked out a thick leather belt.  
_This is my only choice. You really want to drag him down with you?  
_ I repeated silently to myself. I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and wrote,  
_I'm so sorry._  
That's all that needed to be said.  
I stood on Edward's bed, and threw the end of the belt over the bar that crossed the ceiling holding the many lights. I grabbed one of my tank tops from the floor and tied it around my mouth and nose so that if I started choking they wouldn't be able to hear me.  
I got back onto the bed, and grabbed the belt hanging from above me.  
I knotted it quickly and wrapped it around my neck. Tears filled my eyes, but I ignored them, I needed to be quick and quiet. I didn't want to think about it but I knew that jumping wouldn't break my neck, and it would attract Jasper and Emmett's attention. I would suffocate…which sounded much more unpleasant. But…._I deserve it. _  
I quietly stepped off the bed, and the leather tightened around my neck, cutting off all of my air supply. I held still for as long as I could, but then instinct began to set in over rationality and I began to try and get free. A part of me felt victorious because I knew that what I was doing was inescapable without help, and so far I hadn't made a sound, unable to through the fabric on my lips and nose.  
My chest was on fire, and my legs kicked against my will as my body went into panic mode, but it only tightened the leather around my throat. Then suddenly I couldn't move at all, my arms and legs hung at my sides like limp noodles, as my brain shut them down as a means to reserve strength.

A small squeak escaped me, and things began to swim and fade.  
_Goodbye.  
~*~*~_

**Alice**

Hunting wasn't the same, nothing helped with the pain. As long as Bella was at home suffering, we all were. I felt the familiar pressure in the back of my mind that I always got before a vision. I forced it back, feeling to exhausted to take anything else on. Then it pierced my mind painfully and I stopped dead in my tracks, dropping to my knees as it seared, then it cleared. A vision took place before my eyes so horrid that my heart shattered. I heard voices around me, and very familiar hands on my left arm on the outside of my now tormenting world.  
_Carlisle.  
_"NO!" I screamed, caving inwards on myself, as the sight before moe faded.  
"Alice, _Alice,_ what's going on?" Carlisle asked, seeming frantic. They all stood over me now.  
"It's Bella! She's hanging herself!" I screeched, falling to the side slightly. Rosalie's eyes widened in shock, "Call them, one of you have to call Jasper or Emmett!"  
Edward's phone was out in seconds. Carlisle grabbed me, my mind was still burning, my eyes stung like I wanted to cry. My head was actually throbbing badly enough that it was making me feel sick.  
He picked me up then, we were running through the woods back to the cars.

Once there, I got in behind Esme and Carlisle in the Mercedes, pulling my knees to my chest, focusing on Bella.  
I heard through Carlisle –who was on the phone with them- that Jasper and Emmett had found Bella and cut her loose, but she wasn't responding and her pulse was nearly nothing.  
I got little flickers of visions every few seconds, but they slowly became harder and harder to reach, and I knew…  
_She's dying. _  
And I knew…there was a very real possibility that we were going to be too late.  
**~*~*~**

**Guys I am so sorry this took so long to update. There's a lot of drama taking place at my house…Not exactly great grounds for writing good stories. But I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter.  
Stay updated!  
~*~*~**


	6. Too Late

**Disclaimer: I own no part of the Twilight Saga or it's characters, but this **_is _**my writing and should not be used without my permission.  
Thank you!  
**_~*~*~  
Review of Last Chapter:  
I heard through Carlisle –who was on the phone with them- that Jasper and Emmett had found Bella and cut her loose, but she wasn't responding and her pulse was nearly nothing. I got little flickers of visions every few seconds, but they slowly became harder and harder to reach, and I knew… __She's dying. __ And I knew…there was a very real possibility that we were going to be too late.  
~*~*~_

**Edward**

Things ticked by slower and slower until I was finally at the house. I was there first, being that I was faster. Jasper and Emmett were with Bella in my room. Carlisle was on speakerphone as they attempted to keep Bella's heart going.  
My throat tightened at the sight of the deep, dark bruises around her pale throat. Emmett looked up, acknowledging me,  
"She's not going to make it, Edward. You need to-"  
I shook my head, almost as if unhearing. Then Emmett was in front of me,  
"_SHE'S DYING EDWARD. If you want to save her, you'll have to make her one of us. You don't have much time."  
_I finally met his eyes, and a deep sadness crept through my veins,  
_Could I do this to her? Damn her to the life I lived everyday?  
_"Goddammit. Edward, I swear to God, if you don't change her, _I _will." Jasper said from the floor, about 10 feet from us, his gaze deadly serious.  
I closed my eyes, and sped to her side.  
"I'm so sorry." I choked, then brought her neck to my razor sharp teeth. I felt her extremely weakened heart beat in the pulse of her blood as it filled all of my senses, and suddenly I was happy that I had hunted only moments ago.  
I stayed at her throat, only for about 10 seconds. I had practiced my self control while on the run from her, and found it harder than I'd hoped but not impossible to quit feeding on her delectable blood.  
As soon as I'd pulled away, Carlisle was there. Bella's heart rate was nearly non-existent. The slight blood loss I knew hadn't helped at all.  
He pressed his hands over her chest and began compressions.  
"Jasper. Go into my office, grab my bag." He ordered, pumping at Bella's chest. Faster than a human could blink, Jasper was gone, then back a second later.  
"Emmett, continue the compressions the way I was." Emmett nodded, and his hands took Carlisle's place, keeping Bella's resistant heart fighting.

Then it stopped and silence filled the room.  
_No. Please._

Carlisle pulled out a scalpel,  
"What're you doing?" I asked, slightly alarmed. He didn't look up, "Her airway's collapsed. I'm opening it again."  
I flinched as Carlisle cut into her skin, a few inches below her carotid artery.  
Bella's lips had taken on a blue tint, her skin was ghostly pale. My hands tightened into fists, then opened again as I fought to control my burning anxiety. She was dying, right in front of me and there was nothing I could do.

Then everything around me stopped as I saw Jasper catch Alice out of the corner of my eye as she fell to the floor, and I knew that Bella's future had disappeared.  
"Bella…" I whispered, brokenly.  
"She's gone?" Emmett rasped, silence filling the room once more.  
"Not yet." Carlisle growled, then inserted a clear tube into the hole he'd inflicted, pressing it downwards. I had to look away. But when I heard the sharp intake of breath, I immediately looked back to see Bella's eyes dancing beneath the lids, showing that she was back.  
Carlisle began compressions again,  
"Edward. Bite her again, both her wrists."  
I nodded, and grabbed her right wrist putting it to my lips.  
_Come on Bella._

**Bella**

Things were dark. There was no sound. No feeling. No pain. I dropped to my knees and began to cry surrounded by my nothingness. My worst fear had come true…I was alone. Completely and utterly alone.  
I gasped…well kind of as the floor seemed to drop out from under me, I closed my eyes as my stomach flew to the back of my throat.  
When I opened them again, I wasn't alone anymore.  
In fact, Edward, Carlisle, and the rest of The Cullens were standing…above me? But I was looking down on them at the same time.  
Then I realized…I was _floating_ above them. Like….A ghost.  
I was a ghost. And the body laying on the floor in front of me…was me.  
And they were trying to revive me. But I knew they would fail. I could see terror and pain in Edward's beautiful eyes, and I wanted nothing more then to hold him, and tell him how sorry I was.  
Then time seemed to freeze, and things began to fade, Alice screamed and fell to the ground, Jasper ran across the room and caught her.  
"Bella…" Came Edward broken whisper, and a flood of absolute regret drown me.  
_I can't do this to him. _  
I screamed, and beat against the invisible shield between me and the rest of them.  
"Is she gone?" Emmett asked.  
_NO!_ I screamed, but only to myself, because no one could hear me.  
"Not yet." Carlisle replied.  
_What?  
_Carlisle pulled out a scalpel,  
"What are you doing?" Edward asked.  
"Her airways closed, I'm opening them." He said, and pressed the sharp blade into my skin a few inches below my throat. I looked away, same as Edward.  
Suddenly, the ground dropped from under me again, and I fell forward once more, and suddenly I was surrounded by darkness. Then air forced it's way into my resistant lungs.

I took notice of the nagging, burning feeling next, and knew that the venom Edward had put in me earlier was faintly finding it's way through my half dead body…which meant…  
_Holy shit._  
Carlisle had done it.  
"Edward. Bite her again, both her wrists."  
Edward nodded, unhesitatingly, and I felt him put my right wrist to his lips, and bite down as Carlisle continued the compressions.  
Carlisle, then proceeded to put a tube down my throat through my mouth and into my lungs, before pulling out the one he'd put in through my throat.  
Then, a blistering pain set in, and my back arched. I felt cool, unhelping hands on my body, pinning me down.  
Then, a dull sting that had no comparison to the intense agony on the _inside _of my body, pricked my arm, then my body relaxed against my will. But it did nothing to cool the searing torture spreading through my veins…  
_Or what __**was**__ my veins. _I thought as I felt them burn on the inside of my skin.

**Edward**  
"She's back." Carlisle choked, taking his hands from Bella's chest. Her heart was beating at a quick, anguished speed as what I figured was my venom scalded the inside of her body.  
Her back arched suddenly, and Carlisle, Emmett and I grabbed her, and pinned her back down.  
Yes. Definitely the venom.  
An intense relief that sickened me slightly set in as I realized that we had been on time. It had worked. I hoped.  
"Is she going to be alright?" I asked Carlisle.  
He sighed, "I think so. But the next three days will determine that."  
I nodded, because that was all I could hope for.

I was by Bella's side, always, every minute that I could be throughout the transition.  
Her skin took on the familiar pale color, her hair became lighter, softer.  
She'd lost weight while in the clutches of that trash, _Michael._ And although, she was small, her body morphed so that it filled out the size it was. She was about Alice's size, maybe a tad bigger.  
Alice came in, daily and changed her clothing. I'd pointed out that she didn't really need to. But, this was Alice, and she was going to take any chance she had to make-over Bella.  
This time, she brought in a pair of jeans, and a sleeveless white shirt that accented Bella's breasts, then proceeded to paint Bella's newly perfect nails in a shimmery blue/purple color.  
She relented slightly, and gave Bella a pair of converse rather than heels.  
I felt Bella's hand twitch in my hand, and I looked up immediately.  
"Alice…"  
Alice's eyes were wide too, "I know, I can see it. Carlisle! She's waking up."  
I heard the rest of the family come in, but all my attention was focused on Bella's waking form.  
"Bella…I know you can hear me, sweetheart." I said gently, "You're safe, open your eyes."  
Slowly her eyes fluttered, revealing golden brown eyes, a complete shock to all of us.  
"Carlisle…her eyes." I said.  
Carlisle was at her side then, as Bella's lids opened slightly in confusion.  
"I…don't know. It's definitely unusual…How do you feel, Bella?"  
She looked around,  
"I-" She looked at me, "…You changed me."  
I nodded slowly, gauging her reaction.  
"I-I don't understand." She said, her eyebrows scrunching together adorably.  
"What do you mean?" Carlisle asked.  
She met his eyes, "When….I was…human, I hated –I hated-"  
"Yourself?" Carlisle asked softly, she looked up at him, and nodded, smally.  
"The venom not only fixes physical damage, but mental as well." He replied.  
Her lips parted in a silent 'o.' Then, she turned back to me,  
"I'm so sorry." She whispered, then catching me off guard, she reached out to me as she had when Emmett had first brought her in that night he'd found her in the woods. I took her into my arms, and she wrapped her arms around my neck, and buried her face there, and began to sob tearlessly.  
"Ssshhh." I coaxed. "Everything's alright now."  
"Is it?" she whispered, looking up at me.  
"I have you, don't I?" I asked, and she smiled, brightly.  
"I've missed that." I said, and she buried her face in my neck, embarrassed.  
"Hey, you can't hog her." Alice said, from beside me. I chuckled and set Bella on her feet, and Alice engulfed her in a hug, and Bella laughed.  
"How do you feel, Bella?" Jasper asked, and I knew he was confused as to how her eyes weren't red and how well she was handling herself.  
"I'm…okay. My throat kind of hurts."  
Esme looked at me, and I nodded, "Come on." I said, taking Bella's elbow in my hand, "We'll converse later."  
~*~*~

**Bella  
**Edward and I walked back towards the house, after my first hunting experience.  
It wasn't as unappetizing as I figured it would be. I heard a conversation from inside the house though, that had me stopping me in my tracks.  
"No, he was gone…" Jasper's voice, said stonily.  
"The bastard fled the party the minute Bella went missing."  
Edward was watching me, but I wasn't paying attention.  
"What was his name?" I heard Carlisle ask.  
"Michael." I said, and heard the conversation fall silent, inside. The door to the house opened and we met the rest of the family as they walked out.  
"Bella…" Carlisle said softly.  
I looked down, my throat sore once more, but it wasn't the burning sensation from before.  
"No…" I whispered, "I'm glad you didn't find him."  
"Bella." Carlisle rebuked softly, "He did horrible things to you. He deserves what Edward, Jasper and Emmett went out to do that night."  
"And that's why I want it to be me that finds him." I said, looking up and meeting each of their eyes.  
"It was me he wronged." A fury built deep inside me, "And I want to be the one that gets to him…I also want to help the other girls."  
I saw a smile dance at Rosalie's lips, and I met her eyes,  
"Want to help me come up with a plan?" I asked.

Her smile broadened, "I have some ideas already."  
"Oh no." Emmett sighed, wrapping his arm around Rosalie's waist.  
"Oh yes." Rose and I said together.

(; Slight cliffie, hope you've liked so far! Stay updated!  
-RMNicki-  
~*~*~


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